I used to envision my life as a young, twenty something author living in Paris breathing in the movement of the city like the aroma of wine. I’d sit at sidewalk cafés and people watch, take notes in my leather bound journal and go home to my apartment overlooking the Seine. I’d type out what I saw and turn it into a short story, take the scribbled words in the margins of my notes and create a poem. I’d wake up and head to the bakery for breakfast and walk the cobblestone paths on Monmartre. And I’d marvel at my life, for better or worse, I was in the city I love enjoying a relatively obscure life as a writer and published author. There was never anyone else in these daydreams, just me, my tools of the trade and the city.
But life is funny, it never quite turned out the way. There’s no city lights to keep me awake, no rush from one market to another, no Monmartre. Instead I’ve been presented with an alternate life, one full of surprises, laughs and a million kisses. That quiet, solitary life I thought I’d spend observing people and moving about a busy city in silence has been replaced with very different scenery and cast of characters. The Universe gave me my very own family and placed me smack dab in middle of American suburban culture. It saddled me with a chronic illness and said to do what I was born to do in spite of what I thought my life would look, begging me to surrender, forcing me to sink or swim.
So here I am, this is me swimming and right beside me in this sea are my “pod” and a life boat driven by my soul mate, because they say “God never gives you more than you can handle” and for me it’s been true. During the Summer months when my husband excitedly calls me over to watch the fireflies illuminate the forest line I marvel at my life, for better or worse, I’m with the people I love enjoying life as a mother, wife, and healer of souls. I am 43 and I work full time at a regular 9-5 job to be able to live and save for a retirement we look forward to one day. I’m still a writer though and in 3 months I’m going to submit a book proposal for contract consideration. I’m being coached by a NYT bestselling author and have another published author supporting me from the sidelines.
All of this to say that sometimes our lives don’t look exactly how we expected, plans go awry, challenges come up, we aren’t where we thought we’d be when we thought we’d be there. We often get attached to the form of what we think our blessings should look like. When this happens don’t bang your head too hard against the cosmic wall, you’ll get to where you need to be on time and you’ll look back, grateful for the experience and lessons. You may take a different route but the soul purpose and destination is the same. Honor every part of your journey, enjoy what’s been gifted in the now, and keep swimming. Trust that your soul knows the way home and allow it to be your guide🗺💚