I pulled these cards last night and realized it was time to finally let go of the person I’ve known my entire life. That person is still a child and grew up sheltered and fiercely protected, yet starved of attention and affection she didn’t think she needed early on. She was a bit dramatic and quite the storyteller - because playing the role of someone else always seemed more glamorous. She used humor to hide her hurt and silence to mute the anger. She never felt beautiful enough and didn’t stand out from the crowd. She wasn’t a leader nor was she a follower, that made her a mystery to some. (Side note: When you’re labeled an enigma or mysterious, people gravitate to you more out of curiosity than true love. True sensitives see through that you know 😏)

That girl grew up scared of everything. Risks weren’t a thing in her life, she took none because no one took them with her out of caution and care. She was anxious around people she didn’t know because she could feel their intent when others couldn’t. That’s probably why she had more imaginary friends than real ones. She lost herself in books and to be honest, I don’t think she ever wanted to be found again. She wrote, read and daydreamed. She thought she’d be content living out her days doing exactly what she loved, in silence, alone, away. But then she got older and everything changed on the outside but on the inside the little girl was still in control. The inner child never grows up, they are the forever child. They need love and healing but we have to acknowledge when it’s time to grow up and let that child transition peacefully. The woman refuses to let the child go because protecting that child is all she’s ever done but the woman is moving into a phase of life where she needs to be able to navigate like the adult she is.

Last night while I was in the shower I prayed for the death of pieces of the old me and big shifts even though I know with that comes much uncertainty. I’ve never prayed for death in that way. The thought of what energy comes with that very specific ask is scary. I’m scared that my change won’t be accepted by those closest to me and with that comes more loss. I suppose that’s a pessimistic attitude to take and signals the shift needs to happen in my mind first. (I won’t get all woo and tell you about the block in my crown chakra because sometimes I don’t even believe the bullshit coming out of my mouth). In any case, it’s pretty clear the time has come to make a clean break. I don’t know exactly what that means for the girl or the woman moving forward but I surrender, I can’t fight it anymore. I can only wish them both well and focus on the becoming and evolution of the woman.

Fingers crossed that the right one gets out of this thing alive...

K. McMurray
**
INTUITIVE PRACTITIONER NOTE: This is where tools like cards can assist you in your personal development and mastery process. Most people use oracle and tarot cards strictly for divination and guidance to see what’s coming next but these cards when used correctly, can help you identify issues and blocks. Once identified you can work to heal these wounds and break unhealthy cycles which helps keep you in divine alignment. I’ve been getting similar cards for a while which meant there was an ongoing pattern I needed to address. Along with pulling my daily cards I journal about how the card messages showed up for me toward the end of the day. It’s a process that takes commitment but it’s worth it. I’ll do a full blog post on it soon!

Oracle Card decks pictured: Goddess Power Oracle, Wisdom of Avalon, and The Good Tarot

September 2018: The Seraphim

I remember waking up in the middle of the night, unable to go back to sleep so I watched the movement of the tree branch shadows clawing at my walls. Then a distinct call...

“Kendra?”

I turned my head slightly to the right, I wanted to answer but I couldn’t because for a moment I stopped breathing to listen. I pulled the blanket close to my face, right under my eyes so I could still see but shield myself if something sinister manifested in front of me. I still wasn’t comfortable with hearing “dead people shit”. Something though told me to ask who it was. “Who’s calling me?” I whispered low enough not to wake my husband up. There wasn’t a response from anyone in my room but in my head I heard “guardian angel.” It’s easier to dismiss things heard in your head spoken in your own voice than audible words heard externally so the next thing I did was head to Google to search the phrase, “someone called my name”. I don’t know what I thought I’d find on the internet that would help me solve this mystery but I was following my gut on this. The first result that came up was an image and link to this album cover. The band’s name was Seraphim, the song listed underneath was “Call Out My Name”.

“The Seraphim”. I felt my body buzz saying that aloud. So I researched that online too. I’d only connected with archangels up until that point and didn’t know much about Seraphim angels outside of their hierarchy in certain religions. I didn’t even know if they really existed because it took me a year to believe in archangels and I still had trouble completely believing. I lie awake on my phone for about an hour before I got sleepy again and out of nowhere I noticed a wave of energy above me, similar to heat rising. I watched it float from the right to the left and stop and a tiny, green pin light shot across my face like a star. And you see, this is why having my blanket blockade nearby was helpful in my mind, the 6 year old girl in me pulled it over my face and hid until the sun rose that morning.

That day I hadn’t given much more thought to what I told myself I saw until a classmate from an online program I was enrolled in sent me a message asking if I worked with angels, the Seraphim to be exact. She wanted to know because she had heard my name twice during one of her energy sessions and sent me the name of a book called The Seraphim Blueprint.

That was the start of my relationship with the Seraphim. You’ll be able to read about my journey with these celestial beings at some point but for now, I ask you to suspend disbelief, keep an open mind...and a blanket nearby 😉

K. McMurray

(Photo Credit: Via YouTube, band cover of the song, Call Out My Name - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_WmADJ2aOVc)

Since I opened my new Morrigan Oracle Cards and began using them at least every other day, I've gotten the "Piety" card no less than 5 times. It'll fly out while I'm shuffling or slide to the floor when I spread the cards, very rarely do I pull it myself, it makes itself known even before I can steady my hands. The funny thing is I didn't even know what to make of the image or the word. It's one of those words that never quite made it into my personal vocabulary (which I've always thought was a pretty extensive one). I've heard the word used in the religious context in Christianity but never felt compelled to examine the meaning. I went to the deck minutes ago to ask Spirit what I should blog about today and there it was again. Like the two card characters’ darkened eye sockets, I stared through the card, past the images, thinking, "Of course I'd get this damn card!"

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word "piety" is defined as "the quality or state of being pious, such as a) fidelity to natural obligations (as to parents) or b) dutifulness in religion". In this oracle deck it refers to a practice, devotion, and showing reverence to a deity. Being that this is a deck based on the Irish goddess(es), the Morrigan, it speaks to developing and strengthening connection through daily prayer, meditation, or practice of devotion to this goddess. I'll be honest, I don't even yet know what that commitment looks like for me as I begin to honor this particular deity but in a general sense I will say that I've been seeing signs that I'm not as connected to Spirit as I could be. I'll blame it on the season; I'm going through my own personal Winter and between full time work, study, and writing, my acts of devotion include a quick "Hey Spirit team, it's me Kendra, what's good? Thanks for the parking spot today, it made my life hella easy. Oh and yeah, I'm grateful for everything else too!" The candles on my altars have sat without a flame for days, meditation sessions are limited to when I'm able to get quiet time, and journaling...let's just say I have good intentions, the notes are in my head!

Usually when I'm pushed to reconnect I'll see more than just one sign.This morning I had a dream that forced me to acknowledge the lack of offerings on my Mother Earth altar. 2 days before that I had a dream in which I was shopping for candles, salt and a fountain at an expo featuring, wait for it -- metaphysical and religious/spiritual altar supply vendors. The appearance of this card yet again, has me thinking more about how we honor the unseen who work on our behalf. Our ancestors, deities, angels, etc. are sending us messages every day and while we may not always receive or understand every message, we have an obligation to at least be on the look out for them and remain grateful for the little miracles that show up throughout our day. "Through prayer, we talk to the gods. Through meditation, we listen to them. Through devotional reading and listening, we learn about them. Through offerings and sacrifices, we support a virtuous circle of giving and receiving. Doing these things occasionally is helpful, but forming and maintaining a deep connection requires diligent, dedicated practice. It requires daily, weekly, monthly, and seasonal observances." (https://www.patheos.com/blogs/johnbeckett/2013/08/how-much-piety-do-we-need.html)

I received today’s message loud and clear. I fully understand that everything in this world and the next requires a commitment. I'm human though and sometimes I fall off the wagon and don’t follow through on things I intended to. Now I know, like myself, you may think "commitment" feels like a big word but it doesn't have to equate to unfulfilling obligations and work that you don't want to do, it simply means that you are putting effort and energy towards a goal in good faith. Connecting with Spirit, building a practice and nurturing that relationship involves consistency and devotion. This shouldn't feel restrictive, binding, or fear-based. Devotion isn't slavery. We are sovereign beings with free will but as with any relationship, there's a shared responsibility and mutual benefit, it takes daily communication, service, acknowledgment, and appreciation. The type of activities you engage in and the amount of time you set aside to honor your team is completely up to you, the most important part of this is that you simply to do it with a pure heart and the highest intent!

Where to start? I could give you a list but considering I'm just digging into all of this myself, you tell me? How do you honor, connect with, and commit to those on your spirit team? What does piety mean to you based on your own belief system?

​Let's discuss in the comments, teach me something new!

K. McMurray

I used to envision my life as a young, twenty something author living in Paris breathing in the movement of the city like the aroma of wine. I’d sit at sidewalk cafés and people watch, take notes in my leather bound journal and go home to my apartment overlooking the Seine. I’d type out what I saw and turn it into a short story, take the scribbled words in the margins of my notes and create a poem. I’d wake up and head to the bakery for breakfast and walk the cobblestone paths on Monmartre. And I’d marvel at my life, for better or worse, I was in the city I love enjoying a relatively obscure life as a writer and published author. There was never anyone else in these daydreams, just me, my tools of the trade and the city.

But life is funny, it never quite turned out the way. There’s no city lights to keep me awake, no rush from one market to another, no Monmartre. Instead I’ve been presented with an alternate life, one full of surprises, laughs and a million kisses. That quiet, solitary life I thought I’d spend observing people and moving about a busy city in silence has been replaced with very different scenery and cast of characters. The Universe gave me my very own family and placed me smack dab in middle of American suburban culture. It saddled me with a chronic illness and said to do what I was born to do in spite of what I thought my life would look, begging me to surrender, forcing me to sink or swim.

So here I am, this is me swimming and right beside me in this sea are my “pod” and a life boat driven by my soul mate, because they say “God never gives you more than you can handle” and for me it’s been true. During the Summer months when my husband excitedly calls me over to watch the fireflies illuminate the forest line I marvel at my life, for better or worse, I’m with the people I love enjoying life as a mother, wife, and healer of souls. I am 43 and I work full time at a regular 9-5 job to be able to live and save for a retirement we look forward to one day. I’m still a writer though and in 3 months I’m going to submit a book proposal for contract consideration. I’m being coached by a NYT bestselling author and have another published author supporting me from the sidelines.

All of this to say that sometimes our lives don’t look exactly how we expected, plans go awry, challenges come up, we aren’t where we thought we’d be when we thought we’d be there. We often get attached to the form of what we think our blessings should look like. When this happens don’t bang your head too hard against the cosmic wall, you’ll get to where you need to be on time and you’ll look back, grateful for the experience and lessons. You may take a different route but the soul purpose and destination is the same. Honor every part of your journey, enjoy what’s been gifted in the now, and keep swimming. Trust that your soul knows the way home and allow it to be your guide🗺💚

K. McMurray

I just put all of that in the title to get your attention :) I've been quiet since my first blog post because dreams and death have kept me pretty busy. Seems crazy to say that, I know but as a psychic medium (an unwilling one) I'm the vessel and channel to serve as needed. I offer intuitive readings and mediumship as a service on the side but haven't really promoted that much because my calling has been to help others in dream state. I'm the type of intuitive medium who doesn't call herself a medium because I didn't really want to be one. Being intuitive, psychic, whatever you want to label it, is fine, it's our birthright! It's kind of sexy and alluring right? Being able to talk to dead people though never sat right with me in the beginning and that is not the conversation starter most people readily accept. I know this because I've tried it a few times. I can't deny, however, that this is part of who I am and what I've been called to do, so I do it because I can't really say no. Believe me I've tried and they've reminded me that I agreed to this in another life, on another plane; probably when I was in a space ship, acting all brave and shit volunteering as a tribute because I wanted to be seen as a savior (it's a complex, I'm well aware!). I was 3 when I drew a photo of my ship and planet and my mom told my dad she knew there was something "not quite right about" me. There's still something not quite right about me but I now accept it as part of my charm LMAO

I grew up scared of the dark and was 6 when I told my mom there was something in my room under my bed. She was so tired from my nightly calls about these "imaginary creatures" that one night she wanted to prove me wrong, so she shoved the mattress back away from the wall to show me there was nothing there. I was huddled near the corner of the bed scared of what she'd find and accidentally got in the way and the force of the mattress knocked me back. I ended up in the ER that night. That's the same bed and room I remember waking up in during a foggy dream state, seeing my own body falling from the bed canopy and landing with a thump into the soft sheets below. The same room the image of the Jesus (the commercially accepted Jesus) mysteriously ended up on a picture of the letter "Y" in the alphabet art on my wall after my mom questioned why there was so much suffering in the world if Jesus really did exist. Maybe there was a reason I was so scared of the dark after all. Those beings that whispered my name at night weren't real to my parents but they were to me and looking back I guess they've been there my entire life.

In the past 5 years since reconnecting with and embracing my gifts I've learned that when the call comes to do the work we are all assigned at birth, there's really no getting out of it, especially if it deals with being a bridge to the spirit world. When I say the spirit world, to me that means whoever and whatever is over there in the world most can't see with their physical eyes. This world is accessible through our minds and hearts, our intuition guides us to the information we need from that side but most of us are so busy with our 3D earth lives that we dismiss these cues. We get messages with repeating number patterns we may notice, physical signs and billboards, literal writing on walls and in air, songs, scents, visions, and dreams. These messages can be from any number of beings from our passed loved ones to deities, angels, trolls, aliens, and dragons. (I'm not diving deeper into this on this post because that's not what this post is about even though I said it would be in the title LOL)

For purposes of this post, I want to talk about those of us who've been assigned as dream workers and travelers. I've studied dreams since I was 14 and none of my informal and formal studies prepared me for the possibility that what I was dreaming was actually real. I've been trained to see every dream character as an archetype or aspect of myself. When I analyze my dreams I look at the emotions, colors, numbers, symbols, characters, and any other detail that I can remember that may mirror what's occurring in my waking life. I track each dream and apply what I've learned to my waking life. This type of dream work has helped me to uncover repressed memories, mend relationships and identify blocks and it WAS working beautifully but I guess Spirit said my dreams were the perfect channel to reach me for other tasks too since I'm too scared to do the work while awake. About 3 years ago my dreams became more vivid and frequent. I started having premonitions and dreaming of events that would eventually happen days or weeks later. Then came the dreams of people I knew in real life that were either still living or passed who had messages or needed help solving a problem. Most recently I've been dreaming of people I don't know who are in real world situations in a transition, either close to death or just passed, or are alone and need comfort before moving on to the next phase. I posted about a dream I realized was very real on my Facebook page here that has had me in my feels the past week. This wasn't the first time I've learned of a dream scene being real but this experience was one of the most impactful because it hit so close to home. As a mother of a young child, that could've been (or could be in the future) my daughter or son.There's never an easy way to deal with the emotional fall out of learning you were the only soul there during a person's last moments but the more you're called to assist in these type of situations the easier it becomes to both believe it and accept all that comes with the work. Community is key in dealing with and accepting the realities of this role. I've searched for a community of astral travelers and dream workers that felt safe and familiar to no avail so I ended up creating my own eclectic group of dreamers and magicians to offer a safe space for those of us who work in our dreams while most of the world sleeps soundly.

How do you know if you're a dream worker? Here are a few signs to help you connect the dots...

• Your dreams are usually precognitive (future events/premonitions)
• You get frequent visits and messages from those passed
• You get quick, waking visions of living people you may or may not know who look like they need assistance
• You learn later that your dreams featured real people in real situations
• You frequently find yourself in between dream and waking states; see manifestations, hear music, smell or feel a presence. It can often be hard to discern what was part of the dream and what was real when you are fully awake.
• You are often very tired when you wake up
• Your dreams are especially vivid and feel real

If you're now nodding your head in agreement, the lightbulb has gone off and you're wondering what to do next (if you're not yet running for the hills and ready to embark on this journey), here are some tips:

• Meditate Daily - This can be as little as 5 minutes to as long as an hour. Meditating is the foundation of any energy or metaphysical work, the more you meditate, the more clarity you'll gain (and it reduces stress!)
• Develop Healthy Habits - Hydrate, eat well, and exercise daily (Full disclosure, I preach more than I practice this one but I notice my dream recall is much better and I don't get as many headaches when I do what I need to do to stay physically healthy).
• Keep Dream Work/Travel Journal - Be sure to record every detail you can remember and follow up with the outcome once you've been able to decipher what the dream was about.
• Set Boundaries, Set Intentions - If you meditate before bed this is also the perfect time to set boundaries and intentions about your dreams. By boundaries I mean you should be asking that only those messages of the highest good be sent through you and set the intention that your dreams will help and heal both yourself and someone else who most needs it.
• Ask for Support from Guides/Ancestors/Angels - If you're already acquainted with your guides, ensure you've made contact and appointed one as a dream guide to help when needed. The work you do in your waking life will find it's way into dream state so meditate, connect often, ask for the help you need and it will appear!

IMPORTANT NOTE: There are indeed energies and entities in dream state that do not have your best interest at heart and if you are having issues with nightmares and feeling attacked in dreams, it's best to get professional guidance before diving deeper in dream work to help others.

If you've been tracking your dreams and noticed a pattern and answered yes to any of the above and looking for a group of people who are experiencing this same, purpose driven, crazy, beautiful life click on the Of Dragons and Dreams Facebook Group to join here.

I hope this has been helpful and if not, I hope it at least got you thinking about how you can help increase the knowledge base in this community. Hell, you may know more than I do about this area and if that's the case, let's connect!

K. McMurray